I know we’ve all done it before….You’re scrolling through Instagram and you either criticize yourself for not looking like someone else or you talk down someone else to make yourself feel better. Maybe you’ve even said things like “Why can’t I be as skinny as her” or “She used to be prettier when she was skinny.” Today, I want to break this situation down so you can start reframing your mindset and have a more stable sense of self-worth.
To have self-esteem or self-compassion? Read on to find out!
Self-Esteem vs Self Compassion
But first, what’s the difference between self-esteem and self-compassion? Self-esteem is the evaluation of self-worth or evaluating yourself as good, bad, or above average compared to something/someone else. Self-compassion is treating ourselves with the same kindness, care, and concern that we have for a suffering friend.
The Pros and Cons of Self-Esteem
High self-esteem may reduce depression and anxiety. However, self-esteem may also:
Be temperamental and contiegent on success.
Involve putting down others in order to feel elevated above average (aka bullying)
Increase narcissism from inflated self-esteem
Result in scapegoating in order to save your self-esteem instead of facing consequences
Lead to depression and anxiety if viewing yourself as a bad person or below average.
Problematic? A bit. In contrast, self-compassion gives you the benefits of high self-esteem but provides a more stable sense of self-worth. Self-compassion has been shown to:
Lessen social comparison
Lead to self-judgment clarity (the opposite of narcissism)
Be strongly related to improved well-being (less stress, anxiety, and perfectionism)
Be strongly related to more positive states such as body image, happiness, life satisfaction, motivation, making healthy choices, and more!
How to Cultivate Self-Compassion
As Kristen Neff describes, self-compassion has 3 domains: Self-kindness, common humanity, and mindful awareness. Self-kindness involves using kind, caring, gentle language towards ourselves as you would to a friend without criticism; However, you can still acknowledge areas of improvement while still being nice to yourself in order to grow. Common humanity is finding what we have in common with each other to find a sense of inclusivity and feel less isolated. For example, many of us have struggled with body image and have had a weird relationship with food at some point. Mindful awareness is the ability to recognize our emotions, thoughts, and sensations without judgment, avoidance, or repression- The first step to healing is realizing that you are suffering.
There’s always someone going to be prettier, smarter, richer, skinnier, or more powerful than you and we cannot all be above average all the time so cope with self-compassion and finally stop comparing yourself to others. Channel your inner nurturer and cultivate self-compassion to feel a more stable sense of self-worth. Follow @tasty.cait.rd on Instagram for more intuitive eating content!
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